What's the Worst Advice You Heard of an Elder Giving Someone?

by Sea Breeze 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • Foolednomore
    Foolednomore

    Had an elder tell me I don't need a college education to do what I need to professionally. I didn't listen to his stupid advice and went to school.

  • Rivergang
    Rivergang

    Firstly, the usual - i.e. an elder who had sufficient sway over my father was able to prevent me from going to university.

    Not being content with that, though, some 12 months later this same prize act then told me to throw in my apprenticeship. (After being stopped from attending university, I had got a job as a trainee telecommunications technician).

    Damned fool that I was, I actually listed to this F#ck-wit!

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Like some comments here, the remarks made to me pertained to my occupation.

    I wasn’t born-in but came into the JWs already with a full-time job.

    My study teacher tried her darndest to get me to quit and it was suggested that I should take up housecleaning.. I said ‘no way’ and was insulted for doing so. This self-righteous old lady probably didn’t think very highly of me as a ‘worldly’ young woman.. My dress was highly scrutinized.

    Anyway, my refusal to follow intrusive and unwanted advice led to me being soft/shunned.. I ended up going to another congregation which was somewhat better but the same general attitude against full-time work (by women anyway) still persisted.. I let the criticism roll off my back like water off a duck. I ended up Fading after the 1995 Generation teaching… Thank God I resisted these people or it could have ruined my life.

  • Hopeless1
    Hopeless1

    “Thank God I resisted these people or it could have ruined my life”

    A shame you had to suffer as long as you did. I really regret everything I put my now middle-age daughter through in the past years due to the ‘advice’ of these self-righteous pompous opinionated persons (Can you believe one of them sternly told me I didn’t discipline my daughter properly, - 5 years old at the time, - but that I should be hitting her very hard indeed.)

    I hate myself when I think now of all the good times we could have enjoyed together instead of spending so much time working for the ‘Organisation’

    Happily, she does not hold this against me now, she came out from them at the same time I did a few years ago.

    best wishes for your future LongHairGal !


  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister

    Iwasn’t born-in but came into the JWs already with a full-time job.

    My study teacher tried her darndest to get me to quit and it was suggested that I should take up housecleaning.. I said ‘no way’ and was insulted for doing so. This self-righteous old lady probably didn’t think very highly of me as a ‘worldly’ young woman.. My dress was highly scrutinized.

    LHG My Bible study teacher was a very good teacher and bought several people to baptism from the D2D.

    One such young lass of about 20 She persuaded to take a job serving in a bakery so she could finish at 2pm and cone out in service everyday with her. She was a convert & passionate believer who quit her job as a teacher herself to pioneer.

    Difference being she'd already had her education, a career and was married to an Aerospace design engineer who was probably in the top 5% of wage earners in the country. Worse still, due to the happy influence of her husband, her own daughter's went to uni or community colleges gaining M.Sc. or B.A.s

  • Ron.W.
    Ron.W.

    SeaBreeze

    Who won?

    We walked to some wasteland behind the hall and he suddenly realised by the look on my face that I was really going to kick his head in.

    I was into bodybuilding/boxing/ martial arts - he suddenly bottled it and nervously thrust out his hand and apologised - I shook his hand and accepted his apology - I was disappointed..

    Another elder approached me privately few days later and said he had heard about the incident.

    He said he had served with him in the army and that he was the biggest, nastiest bully he had ever seen, and the day someone actually stood up to him and intimidated him had been long overdue -

    I never heard any more about it from the elders - I think he bullied them too..

  • RandomUserName3500
    RandomUserName3500

    Wife was a violent monster. After an attack I called police. Prosecuting attorney pressed charges and convicted her of domestic violence. Elders told me I should have never involved the police and courts (I had told police I did not want charges pressed. They decided there was enough evidence to do it anyway). I was bringing reproach on Jahs name and the congregation. I should have called them instead (I had multiple times over the years and was fed up with no change). And, the next time she hits me I should turn the other cheek and let her hit that too. I must drop the PPO and let her move back in the house as I was setting her up and would be responsible for it if she cheated on me while we were separated.

    Cant make this stuff up.

  • Ron.W.
    Ron.W.

    So sorry you had to go through all that RUN3500-

    What a terrible situation for you from all angles.

    Regards

    Ron

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    HOPELESS1 & DIOGENESISTER:

    Thanks. These comments are amazing and truly show the tragedies that happen when people relinquish their will and follow the direction of high control groups. This includes areas of education/careers and also domestic issues. This is nobody’s business!

    I was shocked when I read that the Witness religion did away with time slips at their annual meeting.. I was super Glad I never listened and realized it was worth it to have been shunned/excluded from gatherings and special dinners years ago! 😉 Maybe I can credit my non-Witness upbringing for saving me in the end.

    People in the religion who already have a career, wealth/education under their belt but push a life of poverty on some naive young person - are among the worst, in my opinion!

  • hoser
    hoser

    I must drop the PPO and let her move back in the house as I was setting her up and would be responsible for it if she cheated on me while we were separated.

    RUN3500:

    No, you’re not responsible if your wife drops her panties to some other guy as the elders told you. They sure like trying to make people responsible for others actions.

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